Sanctuary Interrupted: Real Moments, Real Leadership

My small patio has long been my sanctuary. Intentionally shielded by plants for privacy, it has witnessed countless phases of my life—from prayers and quiet meditations to simple moments of gratitude, watching the birds, and journaling. It’s the place I go when I need the outdoors and the silence.

This particular morning, however, the silence was broken. I was deep in contemplation, trying to focus on my spiritual journey and fight off the looming distractions of major upcoming project deadlines. Suddenly, a young woman, clearly a guest at a nearby Airbnb, began pacing the street just beyond my hedges. She was having a loud, distressed conversation on her phone—so loud her mom on the other end must have heard her, as I overheard the woman say, “I’m whispering, nobody is around here.” My immediate, sharp reaction was to mutter, “That’s not true.”

She continued to pace and cry. The noise was a direct assault on my peace. Eventually, I stood and asked her to be quieter. Her reply was condescending, but she agreed to move away from my yard.

Then, it hit me.

I was reading about building community and the strategies needed for connection, yet my reaction to a stranger in distress was the very antithesis of everything I was absorbing. My conscience was immediately bothered. While I was technically “in the right” to ask for quiet, I had utterly failed to display empathy—a cornerstone of the emotional intelligence I so deeply value.

My Spirit spoke clearly, urging me to apologise when she passed by on her way back. Instantly, my ego and fear tried to take over. What if she responds negatively? What if I look foolish? I pushed past the fear, remembering that “God has not given us a spirit of fear.”

I stopped her as she walked back. Her defensive stance was immediate and understandable. Taking a breath, I spoke my truth: I explained that while her noise distracted me, I could have handled the situation with far more empathy, and for that, I was genuinely sorry.

Her defences melted. She apologised for her disturbance, and the next moment was pure grace. I offered her a hug, and she embraced me tightly, saying, “That is the best thing to happen to me since morning.”

In that single, quiet exchange, a community of two was instantly formed. It was a profound reminder that we are all fighting a hard battle, and a single act of compassion can be a lifeline.

Leadership Lessons from the Patio

1. The Power of Self-Correction and Humility

• The most important leadership moment wasn’t the confrontation; it was the immediate self-reflection and the decision to apologise.
• Self-Awareness is Non-Negotiable: True leadership requires the ability to recognise when your actions are misaligned with your values. My reading on community-building served as a mirror, showing me the gap between my intention (to be empathetic) and my action (to prioritise my own peace).
• Humility Over Rightness: I was “right” to ask for quiet, but being right is often less important than being human. A leader’s willingness to admit fault—”I could have handled this better”—disarms others and models a culture of accountability and respect.

2. Prioritising Empathy in Distressed Situations

• Empathy is a foundational pillar of high Emotional Intelligence (EQ), a metric that research consistently shows is more predictive of success than IQ.
• Empathy as a Strategic Tool: The initial annoyance blinded me to the fact that her loudness was a symptom of deep distress. An empathetic leader instinctively looks beyond the superficial problem (the noise) to understand the underlying human need (the pain).
• The “Still, Small Voice” is Your Inner Compass: The quiet urging to apologise was an act of intuition overriding logic. Intuitive decision-making is a critical leadership skill, often leading to more human-centred and effective outcomes.
• Research Note: According to experts like Daniel Goleman, who popularised the concept of EQ, a leader’s ability to empathise—to understand the emotional makeup of other people—is crucial for managing teams, negotiating, and building strong relationships. My apology didn’t just solve a problem; it built a relationship.

3. Overcoming Ego and Fear to Take Action

My resistance—the thoughts of “what if she responds negatively”—was a pure manifestation of ego and fear.

• Fear is a Barrier to Connection: Fear keeps us bound and isolated. As a leader, fear of vulnerability, rejection, or failure often prevents us from having the difficult but necessary conversations. I had to choose connection over comfort.
• Love as a Core Value: The deepest lesson was realising that the purpose of that moment was to provide comfort—to allow someone “going through a rough time to experience the love of God.” Leaders who are driven by a core value (like love, service, or integrity) are more likely to take uncomfortable actions that serve the greater good.

4. All Things Work Together for Good

• The distraction itself became the vehicle for a powerful lesson. The noise wasn’t just an interruption; it was an invitation.
• The Law of Unexpected Connection: The situation reinforced the beautiful and often inconvenient truth that “everyone is going through something.” This understanding compels us to lead with grace and to see every interaction not as a transaction, but as an opportunity for connection and impact.

Podcast Reflection 🎙️

Spiritual Intelligence: Aligning Success with Divine Purpose with Donna Tashjian

In this soul-stirring episode of The Entrepreneurial You, host Heneka Watkis-Porter sits down with Donna Tashjian, life coach, minister, and founder of Vibrant Living International, for a powerful conversation on healing, purpose, and spiritual intelligence.

From surviving trauma to empowering others through faith, Donna shares her personal journey of reclaiming identity, embracing forgiveness, and guiding others toward a purposeful life in partnership with God.

Listen here: Spiritual Intelligence: Aligning Success with Divine Purpose with Donna Tashjian

Scripture Spotlight ✝️

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” — Proverbs 15:1

Fun Fact of the Week 🤔

You’re statistically more likely to remember acts of empathy from strangers than interactions with authority figures—research says positive emotional exchanges linger longer!

Interactive Poll 📊

When did empathy change the course of a difficult moment for you?

• Apologising when you were frustrated
• Offering comfort to someone in distress
• Choosing vulnerability over “being right”
• Helping someone when it was inconvenient
• Share your story—how did an act of empathy inspire connection?

Resources of the Week 📚

Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman: https://amzn.to/4o4DnsL

The Art of Community by Charles H. Vogl:  https://amzn.to/3IUKwwC

Bulletin Board 📢

Leadercast is today—note the shift in venue to EXIM Bank (85 Hope Road). Check your email for details if you’ve registered.

The Entrepreneurial You TV Show airs Sundays, 8 PM, Flow 1, repeat Fridays at 10 AM JA.

New podcast every Tuesday at 7 AM: henekawatkisporter.com

Boundaries & Brilliance Masterclass for your organisation: email heneka@henekawatkisporter.com

Final Thoughts

We’re all walking a hard road, sometimes right outside someone’s sanctuary. 

Empathy—the still, small voice in each moment—transforms interruptions into opportunities, turning neighbours into community, and confusion into grace.

Leading from the heart,

Heneka Watkis-Porter

Podcast Queen | Leadership Visionary Architect | Coach | Grace to Grow Mentorship Founder

P.S. Ready to help change lives through Leadercast Kingston? Sponsor or sign up here: spurropen.com/leadercast

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