007 – Paying attention to what’s going on, being mindful and practicing self-love, with Rebecca Clio Gould
Rebecca Clio Gould is a Certified Holistic Health Practitioner, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, Qigong and Meditation Teacher, Sexual Awakening for Women Facilitator, and an Award-Winning Author of The Multi-Orgasmic Diet. She has been running her own business, Elemental Harmony, PLLC.
If you could buy any island in the world, how would you describe your island?
Full of trees, quiet and beautiful.
What are some of the underlying reasons why some women are not achieving empowered lives to begin with?
I’ve just encountered in my life and with clients and students that there can often be a feeling of something missing in your life. They are unfulfilled, unsatisfied. I find helping other women and even how to get in touch with my own emotions fulfilling. How to get more in touch with my body; how to cultivate sexual energy and sensuality and self-love; how that lead to feeling more fulfilled.
Were you at some point experiencing a lack of empowered living?
Yes, it started with my own need for empowerment and growing; feeling disconnected with my own sexuality; having body image issues and other struggles. From a young age, I was always curious and open; curious about sex and sexuality. At young adult, I began to do things that helped me feel better and I knew I wanted to help other women in that way too.
How do you help women overcome struggles with body image?
In my book, I have over eighty practices. I teach ways to cultivate more self-love, energy and sensuality. It depends on the women; what her struggle is and why she is having it; what kind of practice would work best for her. I feel a good foundation is self-love and self-knowledge, just getting intimate with yourself.
Loving yourself is important?
One of my favourite practices for myself, and to teach has to do with looking in the mirror and really taking in your own beauty because so many people struggle with that. It can actually feel very uncomfortable in the beginning. Sometimes it makes them cry and feel uncomfortable. But it is such a powerful practice to be able to look in the mirror and accept and embrace who you are inside and out.
How can women ensure that they quiet their minds and to be themselves?
A lot of people talk about meditation and mindfulness. I do teach Qigong which is about cultivating energy. It’s an ancient practice based on traditional Chinese medicine. The idea that there is this vital life energy inside us and around us and in all our movements and breathing techniques, even during tension to breathe in fresh energy and send out any stagnancy.
What is mindfulness and how can it help to balance your life?
Mindfulness is being mindful; aware, conscious attention to what’s going on. Being present – not just going through things in a mechanical robotic, auto pilot way. When you do that it can actually bring a lot more clarity and power to what you’re doing. You can also feel more enjoyment and more relaxed and be present in what you are doing.
How can not paying attention to your body and what your feeling affect your outcome?
The tendency to eat foods that are not healthy or not eat enough. Some people tend to under eat when they are wrapped up in the hustle and bustle, and some people tend to over eat quick, fast food. That can affect your clarity, your mental capacity, it can affect your mood. It can create a feeling of stress and be in a survival mode rather than to relax and enjoy your life.
What piece of advice do you have for people in the category of being head cook and bottle washer?
I tend to take time in the morning to do a mindfulness practice like journaling and Qigong or journaling and meditation or yoga. One thing that can be really helpful for people who are very busy to schedule in just a few minutes several times throughout the day to take some conscious breaths or stretch a little bit or write in their journal, do something throughout the day might be easier for a busy person. But it depends that some people would rather schedule it in at one time throughout their day.
What are some of the risks associated with living with stress…what are those?
When we live with stress it can create sickness, dis-ease in the body, pain; it can affect our relationships, work. It really can affect everything in our life when we are stressed out. I believe that the purpose of having life is to enjoy it. If we are living our life in a way where we are stressed out and can’t enjoy the fruits of our labour, that’s really not a great way to live. It can manifest in physical illness or other discomforts in the body.
Any heart-related issues?
I imagine a connection there as when we are stressed out it can affect our blood pressure and heart rate so it’s good to learn how to calm down and live in a more relaxed way while still being productive.
What is a typical session with you like?
I’d get on the phone for a consultation to see what is best as some people are going to want to do coaching and talk over the phone or Skype and have some coaching that might include some guided meditation. Some people are going to want to be with me in person to learn Qigong or some kind of body work or energy work. It depends on the individual but I always like to bring mindfulness and embodiment into it and help people learn to relax and get in touch with their own inner knowing. Maybe get into a relaxed state and then asking questions that will help you arrive at an answer. If needed, I’ll provide some suggestions or guidance. I really like to help you quiet your mind and empower you to hear your own inner wisdom.
Listening to guided meditation can be good to help quiet your mind. One thing I really like about Qigong is like it is a moving meditation to help you relax.
How many sessions does one need to get into their zone?
In general I think the most recommended is 6 months of talking every other week or even every week but usually the minimum I do is a 3-month commitment.
Do you find that persons who have been through severe trauma have a more difficult time settling down as opposed to those who went through less trauma?
I can’t say conclusively. I know from my own experience, trauma affects the nervous system.
Are you suggesting that there is a diet for multiple-orgasm?
The book is actually not about that. My book, the Multi-Orgasmic Diet, I actually redefine the term, multi-orgasmic. The idea is to feel multi-orgasmic all throughout your day, to feel that exhilaration all throughout your day. If you’re not having sex at all. The diet part – instead of it being what to eat or what to eat – the idea is more about a lifestyle plan by engaging in the practices that I provide a book before a meal or when it comes on. It can help you make a healthier choice. Maybe eating a healthier food or eating less instead of overeating as you’re already feeling good, already feeling energized and more pleasure from whatever practice you engage in.
Tell us more about wholesome living.
For entrepreneurs, there is another kind of stress. The first thing I to be aware when we are feeling that way and to allow ourslves to recognize when we have a lot on our plate that it doesn’t mean that we have to push harder. It may mean that we need to take some time out to rest or to do something fun. We need to have time to do things that are not work related. This can be a big issue for entrepreneurs where our work bleeds over into our whole life. One way the multi-orgasmic diet can be helpful is that it actually goes back to the idea of doing short things throughout the day to bring mindfulness and enjoyment into your life. Maybe before each meal, to do some conscious breathes, dance to a favourite song, doing jumping jacks.
What was your journey like in writing this book?
It took a little over a year and a half but there was about a 6-month break in the middle. I went through a break-up and felt bummed out and got out of touch with my book for several months. But then I got back to it…got back to the editing…the book writing itself was fairly fast. I had worked on and off for years on other books but this book really wanted to come through and be written and be done with.
How important is it to allow ourselves to deal with the situations in our lives?
Life happens. I was in a book writing coaching programme and my time with the coaching was about to expire about 2 weeks after the break-up and I told the coach I feel like I can’t work on this and they gave me another month. I knew I needed to focus on healing my heart, to get clear on what I want and need and trusting that if this book needs to be out in the world then it will be finished and I will get back to it when I’m ready. I spent a few months not even trying to get back to it. I had about a month where I decided I’m not going to get back to it; I felt really defiant like I don’t care. What if I don’t want to be an author. What if that’s stressing me out too much. What if I just let go of that dream. For a month I let go of it and it did feel like I gave up and it felt good. And then out of the blue, I felt I’m ready I want to get back to it and I got back to it.
How to be in harmony?
In addition to all the things on your to-do list, put yourself on your list. Make you a priority. How you feel each day is so important.
- A good foundation is self-love and self-knowledge, just getting intimate with yourself.
- When we live with stress it can create sickness, dis-ease in the body, pain; it can affect our relationships, work.
- Make yourself a priority.